This article was first published in August 2018.
During your mid-to-late teens you’ll have to make lots of important decisions, which is very exciting but can also lead to a bit of stress and self-doubt.
These feelings are completely normal, but it’s important to keep moving forward. So we’ve asked our team of experts to give you the ultimate pep talk – GO YOU!!
In this short film, our team of experts give you a few tips on how to be self-confident and motivated.
"If you don't know what you want to do at sixteen, it's not the end of the world and please don't panic. Lots of people get to 40 and they still don't know what they want to do with their lives. It's really important that you choose to do something that you enjoy, that keeps you motivated, that you have a passion for. If you enjoy something then it's easier for you. As you progress through that, it may be that you come across something that you think, 'Actually, I'd love to do that job,' and maybe a particular subject area or a degree choice at university will lead you down that path inadvertently, something that you hadn't expected."
"When deciding what to do next, there are three main questions that you can ask yourself: 'Who am I, what do I want and how do I get it?' It needs to be in that order. The 'Who am I?' is all about understanding your skills, your personality, your experiences, what's important to you. Once you know all of that then you're in a better position to decide what your next step is going to be."
"Motivation is one of the key things you're going to need in life. Some people are motivated by things that they're trying to get towards and some people are motivated from things that they're trying to get away from, so notice which is true for you. Also, motivation tends to be linked to our skills and our talents so ask yourself what you're good at, ask other people what you're good at. The more you can focus on that and the more you can focus on what you're passionate about, the more it is that you're goingto become self-motivated. That's what you really want, to be self-motivated, to be able to drive yourself to wherever it is you're wanting to get to."
"Confidence is about what you believe about yourself. Sometimes people will have thoughts about themselves like, 'I can't achieve,' or, 'I'm not good enough to achieve that mark or get that interview.' Often that has nothing to do with your actual achievement or the actual outcome in real life."
"It's important to try and work out 'Where are these thoughts coming from? Are they helpful?' And maybe talk to someone about your thoughts and your self-esteem about yourself and get their support in trying to change those beliefs."
"It's really easy in this era to get really caught up in how you perceive that other people are. You might look on social media and everyone else is having a good time or they seem really confident or they're telling you that they got great results. That may or may not be the case. One of the most useful things to learn at this particular stage is really having time where you don't spend time on social media. Take everything that you see also with a piece of salt because people are always going to be showing you their best. It's a bit like when people are going out on a date or when they're going out to a really important occasion, they're looking at their best. That's not them all the rest of the time. Know that what people are presenting is what they want you to see."
Not sure where you want to go?
- Not knowing what to do at 16 is not the end of the world, so don’t panic
- Choose something you enjoy and that keeps you motivated
- Ask yourself these three questions: who am I? What do I want? How do I get it?
- Ask them in this order. “Who am I?” is about your skills, personality, experiences and what is important to you. When you become aware of these, understanding what you want and how to get there will become clearer
- Motivation is linked to skills and talent. Ask yourself: what am I good at? You can also ask your family, teachers and friends – it’s good to get an external perspective, and they may tell you things you hadn’t thought of
- Be self-motivated – don’t wait for others to spark your enthusiasm. Be your own cheerleader!
- Confidence is about what you believe about yourself. Thoughts like “I can’t achieve” or “I’m not good enough” often have nothing to do with real outcomes in real life
- Try to figure out where these thoughts come from. Get support to challenge and change these beliefs
- Everyone looks like they’re having a great time or achieving great results on social media. That’s not always true. People often choose to only show their best bits, so you’re not seeing a true representation of their lives.
If you need support
You should always tell someone about the things you’re worried about. You can tell a friend, parent, guardian, teacher, or another trusted adult. If you're struggling with your mental health, going to your GP can be a good place to start to find help. Your GP can let you know what support is available to you, suggest different types of treatment and offer regular check-ups to see how you’re doing.
If you’re in need of in-the-moment support you can contact Childline, where you can speak to a counsellor. Their lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
There are more links to helpful organisations on BBC Action Line.
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