How to talk to your child about the cost of living crisis

An increase in the cost of living is a fact of life at the moment. For some of us as adults it can seem daunting, so it’s no surprise that our children may feel some of that anxiety too. Our natural instinct is often to protect our children from any worry or concern, but it’s also true that kids will always pick up on things, whether from the news, the school playground or stuff they overhear at home.

So, instead of avoiding it altogether, how can you talk to your kids about things like rising food and energy prices without worrying them unnecessarily?

BBC Bitesize Parents’ Toolkit has been speaking to child psychologist Dr Kimberley Bennett and trustees from financial literacy charity City Pay It Forward - Paul Mehta, Marileen Koppenberg and founder Quentin Nason - to get some top tips on how to talk to your children about the cost of living crisis.

Be conscious of what they might be (over)hearing

“Be mindful of the conversations children are overhearing between parents, wider family and friends.” Dr Kimberley Bennett

Paul Mehta from City Pay It Forward says: “A lot of kids will hear their parents or carers talking about the cost of living. It’s hard to grab some of these concepts when you’re an adult let alone a child, so it’s about reassuring your children that although there’ll inevitably be changes in their lives they don’t need to worry – lots of professional people are looking to make sure things work in everyone’s favour and that we all have a stable life.”

Dr Bennett says: "Children can worry about current events and will benefit from supportive adults who can help them make sense of what’s happening." Ways Dr Bennett suggests you can help your child feel safe include:

• watching CBBC Newsround for age-appropriate news
• being mindful of the conversations children are overhearing at home between parents, wider family and friends
• ensuring children understand the crisis isn’t their responsibility and that it’s the role of grown-ups to work together to take care of children and achieve the best possible outcomes.

Dr Bennett continues: “For older children and teenagers, the core messaging is the same. There’s so much of what’s happening that’s outside of their (and our) control."

She suggests that as parents we can:

• make sure they feel able to talk to us about their concerns, especially if there’s been a lot of discussion about the cost of living crisis at home
• ensure they have access to appropriate information
• check they understand the worries are not their responsibility
• help them feel reassured that grown-ups are making decisions to keep them safe
• let them know there are small changes they can make to lend a helping hand

Explain concepts in an age-appropriate way

“If a child is old enough to ask a question, then they deserve a factual and developmentally-appropriate response.” - Dr Kimberley Bennett

Quentin Nason says the best reassurance is ‘information and communication’, because it gives children a sense of control. If you want to explain words or concepts your younger children may have overheard, keep it as straightforward as possible.

For inflation, Marileen Koppenberg suggests: “You could talk them through a simple example, like: ‘what does it take to bake a cake? Think what ingredients go into it, think of the people who make it and the cost of heating the oven, etc. The cost of these things have gone up, so that’s why prices have gone up.’”

Check out City Pay It Forward’s abc of financial words and what they mean.

Dr Bennett says a great starting point for ‘tricky’ conversations with your child is to think ‘What do you know, and what do you need to know?’: “I always remind parents that if a child is old enough to ask a question, then they deserve a factual and developmentally-appropriate response. If you’re unsure of the best way to respond to a question, tell your child you want to take your time to give your answer some thought and that you’ll continue the conversation at a later time. Talk to your child at a time when you feel you have suitable capacity to do so. Remember, our emotions are contagious and our children will pick up on our anxiety, worry and stress.”

Quentin Nason says younger children will understand the concept of things getting more expensive, even if they don’t understand the reason why: “They understand the concept of waste and economising. You can say things like ‘let’s turn the lights off when we’re not using them’, or ‘let’s eat up what’s on our plate, to avoid waste’, without explaining the underlying background.”

“The younger you start, the easier it is to explore finances with them.” - Quentin Nason

Simple ideas for encouraging energy saving with your kids at home include:

• post-it notes in the bathroom reminding them to turn the tap and lights off, etc
• putting on a jumper, wearing socks or slippers if they’re cold
• for older kids, suggesting shorter showers (and mentioning climate change as one reason why)

Quentin and Marileen continue: “The younger you start, the easier it is to explore finances with your children. Show them through doing things like shopping together, or looking around for a better deal. When they’re older it’s about empowering them. Explain that they’ll get financial freedom and will have the ability to choose how and where they spend their money. One way they can choose to make a difference, for example, is to buy from a company that is more environmentally-friendly."

Get practical and make a plan together

Dr Bennett says: “Take a collaborative approach with your kids and get them involved. Even with our youngest children we can sit down and ask them to share their ideas about what little steps they could take to help the situation. You might say ‘our family is going to try and use less gas this winter. Gas is how we usually keep our house warm. If our house feels colder, what are some ways that we could warm up?’ You might be surprised at what they come up with. When you agree on a plan, draw it out together as a visual reminder.”

“The more informed young adults become, the more comfortable they are around the subject.” - Paul Mehta

Paul Mehta also suggests talking older children through a budget: “Tell them ‘you’ve got to be aware of your ins and outs, in terms of what you’re earning and what you’re spending, and you need to create a buffer for unexpected costs'. It’s also important to tell them that if they have an issue, they should speak to someone – like a trusted adult, a financial organisation or charity – and get some guidance. The more informed young adults become, the more comfortable they are around the subject, and the more inclined they are to connect and ask for advice."

When it comes to events like Christmas, especially for younger children, Dr Bennett advises: “Focus on experiences rather than gifts. It’s a nice way for parents to create new memories and traditions with their kids, that don’t have to cost a lot of money. You could go for a walk on Christmas Eve, to look at trees through the windows and enjoy festive lights in people’s gardens, bake cookies or borrow festive books from the library. Make paper chains and paper snowflakes and decorate your living room. Watch Christmas movies and play board games together. Remember 'children don’t need fancy to have fun’. What they need most is connection.”

This BBC Newsround film answers some questions from children around the cost of living.

BBC News has a cost of living section with up to date news.

BBC Radio 5Live's Ask Martin Lewis Podcast has additional content to keep you informed.

Money Helper is a Government run website offering advice on money, debt, pensions and benefits. In English and Welsh.

Citizens Advice Scotland has a money map that can help you find sources of online support.

In Northern Ireland you can search for financial support on the NIDirect Finance Support Service directory

BBC Action Line has further links to useful charities and organisations around hardship and debt.

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