Dear Parents' Toolkit... What does a family Christmas look like in 2023?

As the year reaches a close, BBC Bitesize Parents’ Toolkit talks to a panel of parents from around the UK about their hopes for this festive season and what they would like to see in the year going forward.

There are families who celebrate Christmas and those who don’t - everyone is marking this time in their own unique way. The school holidays can be a challenging time to keep your kids entertained, but, with the festive season well under way, our panel families are starting to plan cinema trips on Christmas Eve and advent calendar bingo – snow or not, Christmas 2023 is set to be a dream.

Happy holidays

From immediate families to third cousins and aunts, Christmas is seen by many as a time for loved ones to come together. While it can be easy to be overwhelmed by the pressure to cook a fantastic meal or provide a multitude of gifts, simply being together is often what makes Christmas special.

In the aftermath of the pandemic, which kept so many of us apart, our parent panel seem to agree with this statement - whether they’re bringing the wider family together for the holidays, or, as Clive from Liverpool would have it, just have an "us day”.

Alison, who is a full time carer, used to think that her children would prefer a grand gesture but has come to realise the importance of personal traditions…

“I imagine my teenage kids like the idea of Lapland or a big splurge on presents but in reality I feel like they like the fairly simple Christmas things we do.”

Simplicity seems to be the way to go, but every family that celebrates does Christmas differently: perhaps the classics like carol concerts and ice-skating, or maybe a slightly more unexpected approach…

For Helen’s family, “there's a lot of arguing about what a turkey dinner should include, even the turkey itself. One year, I threw my toys out of the pram, and we sat down to fajitas instead!”

Getting tired of the politics surrounding the Christmas meal is a common theme. For Dilan, who has a seven year old son, “if they could avoid cooking they would.” It’s no surprise then that, for many, the dream Christmas involves going away somewhere with “a chef and dishwasher,” as Chris from Scotland quips.

Staying somewhere with catering for the school holidays sounds like a lovely idea. For a lot of us, shivering away this icy December sparks fantasies of holidays to warmer countries for the festive season.

Sherlene, who has two primary school aged daughters, reminisces on her families’ holidays in warmer places and mulls over where they might go next: “Christmas in Florida is on the cards, however we have celebrated Christmas in the Caribbean previously."

Richard E firmly agrees, “My dream family Christmas would be in a lovely sunny country waking up to the sunrise! My children would almost certainly be waking up in Florida!”

However, Santa in the sand is not for everyone and some are fonder of the traditional greetings card image of a winter holiday. For Alison, who lives in North Yorkshire, “nothing beats a white Christmas.” Helen, living in Wales, muses that, “I think collectively, our family dream Christmas would include a trip to see the Northern Lights or travel somewhere scenic and cold.”

Whatever your plans - abroad, at home or revisiting the magic of your childhood Christmases - it is the people you spend it with that creates a festive feeling. Jasmine C says, “My daughter is only six years old, but family [is] really important to her, so I think her dream Christmas would just be for us all to spend Christmas together as one big family. I don’t think she would be bothered where we were as long as everyone was together.”

Cost of Christmas

As lovely as it is to dream about the perfect Christmas, this doesn’t always translate to reality. While the cost of living crisis continues to be at the forefront of people’s minds, a lot of families are having to scale down their celebrations.

Many parents are cutting down on the number of small gifts they are buying for their children this year and instead are focusing on one or two things that they need or want. Lauren from Aberystwyth will be “making a conscious effort to buy them experiences instead of things, like tickets to shows/concerts.”

Buying gifts for everyone in the family can be an expensive affair and so, Louise, who has four children, does a secret Santa with a five pound limit as “this way the kids are happy that they have bought a present for one of their siblings.”

It’s not just the gift-giving that can make Christmas pricey. Pulling together a show-stopping spread with all the trimmings can often end up being the biggest expense. A number of the parents on our panel are cutting down on the amount of food they buy. Clive says, “We normally do a huge Christmas shop with lots of stuff which either gets half eaten or not eaten at all and thrown away. This year we will be more selective on what we buy.”

Richard A’s family have been preparing for the holidays for a while and feel ready to take on Christmas amid rising costs: “My wife is a planner so she has been preparing for gifts for a long time now, steadily picking bargains up in readiness for the festive season.”

New Year’s Resolutions

After the madness of the Christmas rush, many people will be sitting down and reflecting on what the new year ahead might bring. Perhaps this might involve saving up for a Christmas break in Florida or finally taking up a new hobby, like jogging.

Many of us will make concrete New Year’s resolutions for the start of 2024. For some however, the importance of New Year’s Day is lost - as Clive suggests, “it is simply another day in the calendar.”

Michael, whose son is nine, agrees that this type of self-reflection can be done all year round: “I believe they can be good for some people but for myself and my child, if we want to make a change we just do it straight away. No need to wait for a new year.”

Some, like Victoria from the Orkney Islands, believe New Year’s resolutions can be harmful if you give them too much weight. “If you can't keep to them for whatever reason, you feel like you have failed and I don't think that is a good thing for anyone's mental health, to put that pressure on yourself.”

On the other hand, the process of setting goals and developing plans to stick to can be a useful tool, especially for children. As Dilan notes, “I think it is good for children as it will help with discipline and be able to set themselves goals to achieve.”

Reviewing the past year and considering the next as a family can be a worthwhile process. Some children may not have any interest in marking down their aspirations, but having an idea of what they would like to get involved in or see in 2024 can be an insight into your child’s wants and needs.

“It is a nice activity to do as a family to see what our aspirations are and identify areas we want to improve on. Last year we did a vision board so our resolutions are on display and a reminder of what we are working towards. In all fairness the children appear to stick to their resolutions more than the adults,” says Sherlene.

2023 had its ups and downs, and so will 2024. But as we gather together to enjoy the school holidays and spend time with our families, we can take a moment to celebrate what we have experienced this past year and consider what is to come for us, as parents.

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