Eight reasons we're all obsessed with TV dating shows

Hooked on Love Island? Fallen hard for First Dates? Beside yourself that Blind Date is back? Whatever your TV dating show of choice, there’s no denying the telly-watching public is head over heels – some might even say “obsessed” - with the format.

Karen Blackett OBE confessed to being especially bowled over by The Bachelor while guest-editing the Woman’s Hour Takeover. She joined presenter Jenni Murray, journalist (and Love Island superfan) Daisy Buchanan and First Dates’ series editor Lana Salah to pin down why we’re all so in love with watching love blossom on dating shows…

It’s the “slightly old fashioned notion” of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette that Karen Blackett thinks fuels her obsession with the US hit shows in particular.

“[It’s] one person choosing from 20 different people [all] vying for that person’s love - and then there’s a marriage proposal after 6 weeks… It’s very old fashioned, in terms of someone winning the hand of a suitor. I find it fascinating in this day and age that that still happens.”

So Karen’s an old romantic at heart then? “I don’t know if I am after watching these shows to be honest! [But it’s] a really interesting social experiment.”

‘Tinder fatigue’ is definitely a thing. The pure volume of naked selfies combined with weird dates means the novelty of dating apps is wearing thin for many of those in the market for a new partner.

“They are constantly having to swipe left or right, but it’s disposable… everyone’s got so much choice they don't know what to do with it,” says Lana Salah, who reckons her show First Dates is a welcome reprieve from all that swiping.

“We have people [on the show] who are genuinely looking for love, they really believe in our match-making, that we're going to pair them up with someone who's suitable. And they want to come on for love - they're not doing it to be on telly.”

For Daisy Buchanan, TV dating shows have the added benefit of making everyone “fleshy and three dimensional”. Very fleshy if you’re watching Love Island. Or Naked Attraction for that matter.

Poor Cilla Black never did get to buy many hats on Blind Date, and despite more than 30 series of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, you can count the actual weddings on a few fingers. But some dating shows do succeed in making a match or two.

“We're pretty good - the last series [of First Dates] had about a 60% success rate," says Lana.

“We're not just TV producers, we love the people that we're matchmaking, we really invest in them and we spend a lot of time arguing and debating who would be right for them.

“The thing [all dating shows] have in common is we get to eavesdrop on the moment people might, or might not, fall in love. And actually in a cynical world that feels quite exciting and special and you really enjoy that chase of waiting to see that.”

“Just like Mills and Boon,” adds presenter Jenni Murray.

Daisy likens watching shows like Love Island to tuning into “a real-life soap”.

“There was a moment on Love Island the other night where I was gripped, because Jonny had betrayed Camilla for Tyla. We thought Tyla was going to be voted off, and I had this evil glee bubbling up within me. I was like, ‘Yes! Get rid of her!’.

“And then, unexpectedly, Tyla was saved by Camilla… and Camilla was like, ‘No! If they're supposed to be together, she needs to stay here.’ It seemed quite human.”

Beat that for a plot twist EastEnders.

“Although the show feels quite simple, the emotions are complex,” says Daisy.

“But it's a safe way to explore those emotions. If that was happening in your own life I think that would be just dramatic and painful and horrible - but when you've got that removal of the screen, it's quite comforting.”

She adds: “People have a lot of front initially but you do see that slipping away, and because it's so clear where people aren't being themselves, I think they do start to become real and the mask slips and I think that's thrilling.”

Don’t have a football team to support? Why not cheer on a star-crossed couple instead?

“It's supporting a chosen representative, having someone that you root for and want to see their success,” says Daisy.

“Whether you're single or in a relationship, you form these emotional attachments to these people very quickly, even if they appear like caricatures of themselves - and you either want them to succeed or you want them to fail.”

It’s not all well-oiled bodies and cheesy chat-up lines – Karen points out that dating shows often shine a light on what’s going on in society, and can even start awkward conversations.

“The current series of The Bachelorette, which is on in the US now, it's the first black Bachelorette in the series’ history,” says Karen.

“Some of the suitors competing for her hand are non-black, some of them are white, and that seems to be a big deal in America - that there'll be people that might not be black who may be her suitor.

“So - do you care about all of them? No. Does it sometimes highlight some issues that are still there? Yes, it does.”

“On a show like Love Island, where these people are alarmingly physically perfect, you think ‘surely they're not going to have a problem finding love?’,” says Daisy. “But they do!”

“I think it reminds us all that love is messy and it's not straight forward. And also that it's something worth persevering with - that life is much more exciting if you take it off the screen.”

Listen to Karen Blackett’s full edition of the Woman’s Hour Takeover for more on dating shows, how to use empathy at work, brands, black identity and much more.

You can currently catch First Dates on Tuesdays at 22:00 on Channel 4, Love Island nightly on ITV2 at 21:00, Blind Date on Channel 5 on Saturdays at 20:00 and The Bachelor on a range of UK subscription channels. Other dating shows are available.