By the time your little one turns 3, you might find they've started to talk to you about things that have already happened.
When they do, it can help unlock a lot more complex language as they move beyond naming and commenting on things appearing in the here and now.
Dr Saloni Krishnan helps mum Anastasia explore how talking in the past tense can be good for her daughter Denisa's language learning in our Speech Lab.
Watch the video to find out how they get on.
Saloni
Does your little one love telling you about all the things they've been up to? When they're around three years old, children start to remember events that have happened in the past and might start to talk to you about them. But why is that different from talking about the present? And can this affect how your child communicates? Let's find out.
How old are you Anastasia?
Denisa
Anastasia is three years old.
Saloni
And has she started to remember things and tell you about them?
Denisa
Oh, yeah, all the time she comes back from nursery, she tells me different stories.
Saloni
So chatting about things in the past can be quite different to talking about things int he present or the here and now. So let's find out what some of those differences mean for language development. We're gonna talk about something that's here in the present and we're gonna to see what kind of language Anastasia uses to talk about it. Okay Anastasia, shall we see what's in the box?
Anastasia
A birthday cake.
Saloni
That's right. How beautiful is that?
Anastasia
Very beautiful.
Saloni
And what do we have here? What's this?
Anastasia
Candle. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Wow.
Saloni
So it's really easy for Anastasia to talk about things that were in front of her. So, for example, she was counting all of the pieces. Now, let's see what happens in the second test, where we're gonna ask Anastasia to talk about something in the past. Tell me about your birthday, Anastasia.
Anastasia
My birthday party was yesterday. Then my mummy and daddy sang happy birthday to me.
Saloni
Wow. What else happened?
Anastasia
They gave me presents.
Saloni
Did they really? I think you had the best birthday.
This time by remembering and talking about things that had already happened, Anastasia was using longer sentences and the past tense, So, for example, she said Mummy and daddy sang happy birthday to me. That's because when Anastasia is talking about things that aren't in front of her, there's much less context. So she can't just point to things or say, this one or that one. She has to remember the words and construct a much more complex sentence. Using questions like what, when and where can be a great way to make Anastasia talk about the past. And this can be an excellent way to practise her language skills. Studies show that between three and four, children develop what scientists call episodic memory as a part of their brain, called the hippocampus develops. This means they can remember and chat to you about events that have happened in the past. Scientists refer to this as decontextualised language. This kind of language is great for stimulating their brains to think about things beyond just what's in front of them. One study found that if children used decontextualised language at 30 months, they were more likely to understand longer sentences and have larger vocabularies ten years later. So next time you're chatting with your little one, try talking about what's happened in the past. This will help them think beyond the present moment as they practise using more words and tenses, which can help develop their speech and language skills as they get older.
The difference between talking about the present and past
Just as in the film, you will often find that there's a difference between the way your child speaks about things in the present and how they speak about past events.
When you talk to children about the here and now, they'll often do the sorts of things we do as adults - pointing to things, naming them, giving a little information only, as they know that you are there with them experiencing it as they are. You can see what they're talking about, so they don't need to say too much.
When you ask them about events in the past, they have to give much more detail to help you understand what they mean. You can encourage them to draw out this detail by asking lots of 'what?', 'when?' and 'where?' questions.

How does talking about the past link to memory?
Around the ages of 3-4 years old, children develop episodic memory as part of their brain called the hippocampus develops.
Episodic memory is memory about details like who was with them when something happened, where they were and what they did. This is great for their language learning, as they can begin to tell you all about these things if you help them practise talking in the past tense with plenty of questions about past events.
Scientists refer to talk about the past and future as 'decontextualised language'. This just means language about a situation they're not currently experiencing - they're having to put things into context for you so that you understand.
This is great for their building language skills as they're able to put their memories and plans into words.

Practise talking about the past with your child
There are lots of ways to practise talking about the past with your little one and build their ability to describe memories.
Memory games are great for chatting with children about things that you've done together. If you make a point of pointing things out as you go on trips - whether it's something at the supermarket, on walks, or on visits to see family or friends - and make a mental (or written down) note of what you could ask them about later on. For example, you could ask 'what did we see down at the harbour?' or 'what fruit did we buy earlier on? Can you remember?'.
Why not try taking the time to speak to your child about what you've done at the end of each day?
If your child is struggling to remember or recall events try taking a few pictures of the event on your phone and use these to help them talk about what they did and what they saw afterwards. Picture cues often help children to recall information or help them find the words to describe them to you. If you are able to collect any objects that link to the event, for example, shells from the beach or tickets from a bus trip, these can also help your child remember and recall the events better.
There are also ways of talking about the past that make use of much shorter term memories.
You could try getting them to recall details from a story after hearing it. Ask them lots of questions about what happened in the story and why.
More on the past tense
- Check out these top tips from Dr Clare Halsey on improving your child's memory and encouraging them to think outside of the present moment.
- Our Tools for Talking film has a simple explanation of the importance of talking in the past and future tenses with kids.
